Ode to the Evans'

Summer 2008, Doug & I made the big move from Sandy, Utah to Buffalo, New York. I had never lived outside of Utah or really away from any family for that matter. Simply put, I was terrified.  I pretty much had had the same friends my entire life. With of course the additional ones that come into your life through work, church etc. So naturally I was afraid that I would not have any friends in Buffalo that could compare to the dear ones I was leaving behind. Thankfully, that did not hold true. We made some wonderful friends that will remain friends for life. They know who they are. 

I've always liked the quote about how people come into our lives for a "Reason, Season or a Lifetime". I really do believe that there is a purpose for every person that comes into your life. 

I remember the day that I met a fellow Mormon classmate that Doug had told me about. He & his wife had bought a home just a few blocks away from us. He had arrived in Buffalo with his dad, but his wife was flying in later. I remember thinking how lucky she was that she didn't have to do that horrible drive across country like I did. :) He came over to our house to use our copy machine. The proper introduction was made, some small talk given & that was that. I had met Travis Evans. My mind began to fill with all sorts of concoctions on what his wife might look like. He was really nice, would his wife be the same? Will she like me? Will I like her? Will we want to hang out with them? They'll be living so close & what if we don't get along? I know, I'm weird & let my mind think way too many things. Anyways, one morning Doug & I went on a run & he told me that Travis' wife got in the night before & asked me if I wanted to stop by & meet her. Of course I did so we continued our run over to their house. It was at that moment that it hit me how disgusting I looked. To me this was embarrassing. Doug just kept laughing at me telling me to get over it. It's funny all the little details we remember about our first meeting. I could tell you exactly what she was wearing as she came down the stairs. Turns out she was completely mortified that their house was filled with boxes & not put together for their first visitors. Little did she know that this was the first of many unannounced stop ins that the Shaws would make. :)  Stephanie was so nice & talkative & cute. I knew instantly that I liked her. Especially when she told me that her two sisters were hair stylists. There was a sense of relief that I felt leaving their house. I had a good feeling that we would be friends.

It wasn't long after we met & got settled into our homes that the socializing began. One of my first memories of us doing something together just the four of us was going to see the movie The Dark Knight. It was a Saturday & they had done some garage sales that morning. I had asked her what all she found & one item was a rocking chair. I told Doug that I was pretty sure Stephanie was pregnant. He just laughed because I'm one to always guess, assume or flat out ask people if they are indeed expecting. He hates it that I do that, but I just can't help myself. And more times than not I am in fact right on my suspicion. So in the car on our way to the movies (yes, those were the days of being able to go together because there were no kid car seats) I completely out of the blue asked Steph if she was prego. She stammered off a "no", but I was not convinced. However because we didn't really know them very well I didn't want to press the issue & just let it go. But not even 5 minutes later she burst out that she was in fact pregnant. Of course I was grinning from ear to ear because I totally called it, but also excited for her as well. She begged us not to share the news with anyone. I'm good at keeping secrets, but more than that I wanted to prove to them that we are trustworthy friends & I didn't want to do anything that could jeopardize this new friendship. Well that was only the first of many things that we confided in one another. Getting pregnant after my miscarriage was so hard & it just wasn't happening. It was hard to go through the pain every single month of not being pregnant by yourself. Don't get me wrong, Doug was always there for me & held me & let me cry, scream & vent my frustrations. But a girl just needs a girlfriend in hard times like that. Steph was there for me when I was going through this really difficult time. She stepped right up to the role of being my 'person'. She listened to me, let me cry on her shoulder, brought me ice cream & low dose aspirin as we believed that is supposed to help in getting prego. :) So not only was she someone that I enjoyed being around, but she was someone that I truly could trust in return. She was there for me when my family/friends from back home could not be. She quickly became my confidant, my best friend. I would call her about pretty much anything. When the most amazing things happened and also when the most horrible incidents happened. In fact, I think I called her a little too much. Ask her 3 year old who would always know when his mommy's phone rang it was Rachel. 

You know you have a great friendship with someone when you never, ever get sick of them. We could be around each other for hours & would never get sick of it. And even after hanging out when we were dropping one of us off we would still sit in the driveway to chat some more. In fact, it happened so often that Doug would sometimes text me & say you might as well turn the car off so you stop wasting gas. :) I am forever grateful for the driveway talks because those were many of the times that we were able to confide in each other or console one another. It was our space together without husbands or children around. If I had to run over to her house to borrow something I would tell Doug that I'd be right back & he would just roll his eyes because he knew that once we are together we just can't help but talk & talk & talk. 

 We also did pretty much everything together. Went to the movies, book club, bunco, shopping, the beach, parties, walks, out to dinner & even traveled together.We always know we can count on the Evans' joining in on whatever it was we wanted to do & vice versus.

Camping Summer 2008

 

 Crystal Beach 2008

 

Buffalo Garden Walk 2008

 

80's Party 2008

 Picnic at the park 2009

Shakespeare in the Park 2009

 

Boston 2010

 Boston Aquarium 2010

Harvard 2010

 Becker Farms

 Washington DC 2010

 Girls Trip to Toronto 2011

Botanical Gardens 2011

 Hershey Park 2011

 Philadelphia 2011

 Alumni Dinner 2011

 Roller Rink 2012

We experienced some of our biggest life moments with this family. We started our families the same time & oh how special those moments are to me. Holding their babies in my arms like my own. Helping each other raise our kids. Oh the conversations about what works & what doesn't as we entered every phase from infantry to toddler hood. I truly love Collin & Weston like my own & I know that my boys are just as loved by them. 

 Steph holding Gavin for the first time.

Me holding Collin for the first time.

Speaking of Collin, he will forever be my boyfriend. He has a very special place in my heart. I am so happy that our boys were close & became the best of friends. He & Gavin really are the best of buds & I just love how much they love each other. They definitely have their fighting moments, but what brothers don't? We've joked that they better not forget one another, but I don't think it is possible.

Collin truly is a brother to Gavin. He asks for him daily & mentions him in everything he does. Don't those pictures just melt your heart? Oh how I wish Weston & Liam could have that same bond with one another.

Holidays are the hardest part about being away from family. So during the duration of our time spent in Buffalo we quickly decided that our holidays would be spent together & with friends. Holidays became so much fun & something we all looked forward to. 

 

The Evan's Annual Halloween Costume Party

 Thanksgiving was always spent at the Marchant's for dinner & then the Evans' for pie.

 The Shaw Annual Ugly Sweater Party

Of course there was Valentines, Easter, 4th of July, Baby Showers, Birthdays & more that we celebrated together.

My baby shower for Gavin

Valentine's Bunco

Steph's Birthday Brunch

I think I could go on & on about all the wonderful things we have shared over the last 4 years. I think mostly that is because this next part is very difficult to post about. **I'm impressed if anyone other than Stephanie is still reading this**

The BIG day

How did we get so lucky to both sell our homes & have the exact same closing date? It brought quite a bit of comfort knowing that we were both going to be leaving Buffalo on the same day. We had planned on leaving the morning of May 15th & the Evans' weren't taking off until the afternoon. So after getting the last minute things thrown into the truck I made the call to Steph that we were getting ready to leave & they needed to get their bums over here to say goodbye. There was something so surreal about the whole thing. As my mother in law was sweeping out the kitchen the Evans' made one last walk through our home. So many moments spent together in our cute mint green house. I can't remember the exact moment that Steph & I completely lost it, but we did & then it was over. We couldn't stop crying. Doug's dad made a comment that this seemed worse than a missionary leaving. So true indeed. If I knew that I was going to be back & close by the Evans' in 2 years I think I would have been a little more composed. Nah, who am I kidding. This was absolutely the hardest goodbye I've ever done in my adult life.

 Doug & Trav embraced pretending to sob & cry making a big joke out the whole thing. But we all know deep down they were crying just as hard. Men.

When Collin & Gavin saw each other they didn't miss a beat as just started running towards each other. Ah, I think that is when I started crying. These two little guys didn't even know that their worlds were about to be torn apart. It was so sweet & so heart breaking at the same time.

 

 One last family shot

Thank you Travis, Stephanie, Collin & Weston for being our family. Thank you for being a blessing in our lives. You've truly enriched our lives to the fullest & you are forever in our hearts. You have absolutely come into our lives for a LIFETIME. May New Mexico bless you with all the happiness you deserve. We'll be seeing you.

 "We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere." -Tim McGraw